zeldathemes
Sleepy Nebulae

tired in outer space

sherbetballets:

batsyandmrj:

There’s thousands of notes on posts about how unfair it is that there isn’t a wonder woman movie and now that its been officially announced nobody is talking about it?

Like Can I get at least a hell yeah?

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hermionemollycharliepond:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.
First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.
“A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.”
This was a good start.
We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.
“Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—”
“Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.”
“You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?”
He frowned. “Who doesn’t?”
“Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?”
He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?”
We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.”
He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.”
“But I’m not.”
“Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—”
“We’re married!?”
“Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?”
He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.”
We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?”
“Vegetarian.”
“Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.”
“We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.”
“You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.
“They’re your children too!" I screamed back.
He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!”
“Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—”
“I want a divorce!”
And he walked out of the classroom.
The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.”
I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

READ THE WHOLE THING

hermionemollycharliepond:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.

First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.

A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.

This was a good start.

We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.

Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—

Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.

You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?

He frowned. “Who doesn’t?

Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?

He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?

We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.

He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.

But I’m not.

Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—

We’re married!?

Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?

He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.

We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?

Vegetarian.

Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.

We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.

You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.

They’re your children too!" I screamed back.

He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!

Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—

I want a divorce!

And he walked out of the classroom.

The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.

I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

READ THE WHOLE THING

algrenion:

overlypolitebisexual:

whenever i see these post-apocalyptic films set in the USA where everyone is pretty much just killing each other with no mention of other nations i always just assume that the rest of the world is fine and has learnt how to resume life as normal

 

jamesbong00420:

scenicroutes:

naruhodos:

is this the rise of the brave tangled frozen dragons

no actually it’s even better than that
this is a still from a 1990 television special entitled, “cartoon all-stars to the rescue,” which, literally, was absolutely nothing but half an hour of beloved children’s cartoon characters attempting to get that kid in the blue to stop smoking pot.
it opens with a brief clip of george h.w. bush and barbara bush sitting in the oval office, petting their dog. the president of the united states looks into the camera and says, “some of your favourite cartoon characters will help you understand how drugs and alcohol can ruin your life.”
and that brief clip alone would be worth the price of admission but then we get into the actual story, which begins with a teenage boy smashing his kid sister’s piggy bank to buy pot. while alvin and the chipmunks look on in abject terror. and winnie the pooh exclaims, “oh my!” and then the kid runs off to buy pot in an alley and bugs bunny appears out of nowhere dressed as a cop, picks a joint off the pavement, and launches into an anti-drug spiel.
it’s actually really not the kind of thing that can be put into words so here’s the full half-hour video, knock yourself out

oh my GOD

jamesbong00420:

scenicroutes:

naruhodos:

is this the rise of the brave tangled frozen dragons

no actually it’s even better than that

this is a still from a 1990 television special entitled, “cartoon all-stars to the rescue,” which, literally, was absolutely nothing but half an hour of beloved children’s cartoon characters attempting to get that kid in the blue to stop smoking pot.

it opens with a brief clip of george h.w. bush and barbara bush sitting in the oval office, petting their dog. the president of the united states looks into the camera and says, “some of your favourite cartoon characters will help you understand how drugs and alcohol can ruin your life.”

and that brief clip alone would be worth the price of admission but then we get into the actual story, which begins with a teenage boy smashing his kid sister’s piggy bank to buy pot. while alvin and the chipmunks look on in abject terror. and winnie the pooh exclaims, “oh my!” and then the kid runs off to buy pot in an alley and bugs bunny appears out of nowhere dressed as a cop, picks a joint off the pavement, and launches into an anti-drug spiel.

it’s actually really not the kind of thing that can be put into words so here’s the full half-hour video, knock yourself out

oh my GOD

raccoonrocketeer:

ancient nerds

league of legends is the call of duty of videogames

richardharington:

pls watch this

  #video  

sheik:

sheik:

sheik:

sheik:

everyone’s trying to stump the akinator so i’m gonna try and see if he’ll know that i’m thinking of the little symbol on the front of his turban

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come on it hasn’t even been 10 fucking seconds

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GOD DAMN IT

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i fucking hate this stupid piece of shit genie fuck him i hate him so fucking much

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Song: its exactly what it looks like.
Artist: chenyakumo.tumblr.com
Played: 389,838 times.

chenyakumo:

nothing i do for the rest of my life will ever top this

  #audio  
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Played: 2,047,131 times.

professorsugoi:

shewbs:

blutunez:

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JESUS

I WAS NOT

  #audio    #adventure time